Christmas 2020 without Family

Christmas

Christmas Home Rituals Isolation Sadness Together Missing Altogether Soon

Christmas feels so different this year and for so many it is hard! Being alone on Christmas day seems to have a weight greater than other days. Remembering a loved one we have lost at Christmas seems to hurt more than other days of the year. Christmas evokes a multitude of emotions from love, laughter and joy to sorrow, sadness and despair. Continue reading “Christmas 2020 without Family”

Who Cares for Carers

Who Cares for Carers?

I have so much admiration for the army of carers out there. The NHS staff, the Care Home staff, the mobile carers to name a few. There are also those who are at home looking after a loved one, caring for your husband, wife, mother, father, daughter, son, whom ever it may be, caring for a loved one is a tough job! Continue reading “Who Cares for Carers”

Lonely at Christmas 2020

Loneliness this Christmas

As l sit in my counselling cabin this morning with a cup of coffee, I reflect on the conversations had with family this week. With Christmas ahead of us and the hope of all being together temptingly close, my Mother-in-Law called to say Continue reading “Lonely at Christmas 2020”

Living with Grief

Living with Grief

My Mum is in late stages of Vascular Dementia and this weekend talking with family it dawned on me that this year will be the first year I will not spend Christmas with my Mum! It hit me without warning and a deep sadness engulfed all of me. I stopped what I was doing and simply froze to the spot and felt the grief throughout my heart and soul. Continue reading “Living with Grief”

Dementia Sonnet 8 – Perception

Perception

Her Vagaries of depth perception trends
to stumbling shuffle and a questioning hand,
as though each footfall falls on shifting sand –
a shapeless void she barely comprehends. Continue reading “Dementia Sonnet 8 – Perception”

Dementia Sonnet 7 – Smothered Synapse

Smothered Synapse

A hollow emptiness of days and hours
has heightened Jane’s dependence on my love.
Now spaniel like, she dogs my every move –
craving attention. Fine – but anger lowers! Continue reading “Dementia Sonnet 7 – Smothered Synapse”

The First time Mum did not Recognise me

Mum did not Recognise me

I will never forget the first time Mum did not recognise me. I was upstairs in her house and she appeared at the top of the stairs and stared at me. She looked at me with suspicion, which turned to fear and then confusion. The emotions played out on her face in slow motion to me because what I have feared would happen one day, was happening! Mum had no idea who I was! Continue reading “The First time Mum did not Recognise me”