Category: Grief

Grief Poetry – Requiem Sonnet 1

Requiem Sonnet 1

They say it will subside, but this I know,
it does not go away; sporadic grief
which strikes unbidden, (and brings no relief),
lingers, unfathomably deep, to grow
from minor stimuli. I wake in tears,
searching my psyche, seeking to retain
its dream filled narrative – my cherished Jane –
her love unchallenged by dementia years.
And thus, it goes – the funeral, the wake
and legal stuff afforded me some closure.
But empty days, an empty house conspire
with well-meant kindly sympathy to break
my bubble of sang froid; of my composure –
sobs smother still my raw grief’s smouldering fire.

 Mr JH Burman ~ September 2024

Note about the Author

This poem was written by my Dad, 3 months after losing his wife, my Mum. He is coping as well as he can with the loss of his soul mate, love of his life, his wife. It is hard to know what he is going through as only he can truly know this, but his poetry has a beautiful way of helping us understand his experience. Thank you Dad for letting me share this with others. I love you.

Grief and Bereavement Counselling

If you are living with grief and want some support please do get in touch. If you are experiencing grief and loss due to bereavement, you are not alone, there are many people who are here to support you. There are helplines and support groups who will offer support, click on the link below to find some of those who can offer expert advice.   https://www.carolineellisoncounselling.co.uk/grief-counsellor/

Mum 1943-2024

Mum – 1943 – 2024

I write this one week after Mum’s passing. She died on Sunday, 9th June 2024

Mum has now gone after her long and arduous battle with Dementia which we all knew she would never win. She died peacefully with Dad, myself and one of my brothers by her side. It was a peaceful end to a prolonged illness. Whilst we were all prepared for this having had months if not years of living grief, her final passing was a devastating sadness. Dad confirmed she was gone and I left the room and sat on the lawn of my childhood home and quietly sobbed my tears of grief. Mummy is dead! Life around us continuing on in normality whilst for me, my assumptive world is altered forever.

I was surprised at how hard I found her final moments as Mum has been poorly for so long. In the week since her death, I have felt discombobulated, I have been struggling to form sentences and I feel like there are rocks in my head. I need to battern down the hatches for a while whilst the grief runs its course through my heart and soul.

This is not my first loss but this has had the most profound  impact. It is the loss of my Mum. Mum inspired me during her life and in many ways I am the person and counsellor today because of her. Her influence, nature and character moulded me in different ways. In her passing Mum has one last lesson to give and that is that grief is a process unique to each one of us. However you grieve and however you feel is OK as we all manage things in our own special way. Thank you Mum for your parting gift of knowledge. I will miss you.

If you are seeking Alzheimers and Dementia Counselling please get in touch with Caroline Contact who is has years of experience working with carers and those affected by Alzheimer’s and Dementia.

This blog was collated from internet sources for information. Please talk to your GP for more information. 

Written by your local counsellor in Fleet, Caroline at Caroline Ellison Counselling – this is my experience and these are my opinions. Carpe Diem.

Dementia Action Week

Dementia Action Week 16th – 22nd May 2022

My Mum’s journey with Dementia continues and each day that passes feels like a blessing and a worry all at the same time. Mum has stopped trying to eat and my Dad and her carers are daily finding new ways to get enough nutrition into her. From shakes made from protein rich beans, fruit and milk to trifle, they are trying it all. Continue reading “Dementia Action Week”

Tug of war with Dementia – Living Grief

The tug of war with dementia

The grey hair sprouts
The bottom lip pouts
Sadness lingers
I’m typing with my fingers
To get this feeling out!
~ Caroline Ellison (not a poet!)

Sadness Creeping in

The tug of war with dementia is cruel, profound, deeply moving and today has been tough! Continue reading “Tug of war with Dementia – Living Grief”

Christmas and Dementia

Christmas and Dementia

Together Christmas and Dementia do not make good bed fellows. Every Christmas Mum who is living with Dementia is less aware of what is going on. For Mum and Dad, Christmas Day is now very much just another day of the week. They are alone together, Mum unaware of what day it is and Dad filled with nostalgia and sadness Continue reading “Christmas and Dementia”

Mother’s Day without Mum

Mother’s Day without Mum!

My Mum has gone in mind but is still with us in body and soul! Today I called my Dad to say

“Happy Mother’s Day”

It left me feeling empty when I put the phone down and I came to my cabin to write this whilst it was still clear in my head and heavy in my heart. Continue reading “Mother’s Day without Mum”

Living with Grief

Living with Grief

My Mum is in late stages of Vascular Dementia and this weekend talking with family it dawned on me that this year will be the first year I will not spend Christmas with my Mum! It hit me without warning and a deep sadness engulfed all of me. I stopped what I was doing and simply froze to the spot and felt the grief throughout my heart and soul. Continue reading “Living with Grief”