Tag: ADHD

How to unmask and discover who you really are

How to Unmask and Discover you really are

Unmasking and discovering who you really are is a deeply personal and transformative journey. It involves peeling away layers of societal expectations, inherited beliefs and fears to reveal your authentic self.

Here are a few steps to help discover and understand the layers to peel them away:

  1. Self-Reflection

    • Ask yourself deep questions: Take time to reflect on who you truly are, outside of external influences. What are your values, passions and desires? What do you love doing when no one is watching?
      • Suggested questions:
        • What happened today that bought me joy?
        • What happened today that made me anxious?
        • What jobs/tasks did I enjoy?
        • What jobs/tasks frustrated me?
    • Keep a journal: Write down your thoughts and feelings regularly. This can help you understand your true nature over time.
    • Identify your masks: Notice how you behave in different situations. Are you pretending to be someone you’re not to fit in or avoid conflict?

  1. Let Go of External Expectations

    • Release the need to please others: Often, we wear masks to conform to what others expect of us, whether it’s our family, society, or friends. Start letting go of the idea that you need to meet everyone else’s expectations to be happy.
    • Embrace your individuality: Understand that it’s okay to be different. Be proud of who you are and discover that your unique qualities are what make you special.

  1. Confront Your Fears

      • Face your insecurities: Fear often causes us to hide parts of ourselves. Identify the fears that make you put on a mask. Perhaps it is fear of rejection, failure, or judgment? Confronting and overcoming these fears can help you discover your authentic self.
      • Step out of your comfort zone: Don’t let your comfort zone become your cage. Take small risks by expressing yourself in ways that feel vulnerable but true. This could be through sharing your real thoughts, trying new things, or speaking up for what you believe in. When you do this notice how you feel.

  1. Cultivate Self-Compassion

    • Accept yourself fully: Self-acceptance is crucial in the journey of unmasking. Understand that you are human and it is okay to have flaws and imperfections. Treat yourself with kindness, compassion and patience.
    • Forgive yourself: We all make mistakes. Forgiving yourself for past choices can help you move forward with a clearer sense of who you are.

  1. Connect with Like-Minded People

    • Surround yourself with authenticity: Being around people who are unapologetically themselves can inspire you to do the same. Healthy relationships are built on honesty and mutual respect and these people will encourage your authentic self.
    • Seek mentors or guides: Sometimes, someone who has already gone through their own self-discovery journey can help guide and support you in your own.

  1. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

    • Cultivate awareness: Mindfulness helps you stay present and aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Through mindfulness, you can recognize when you’re slipping into old patterns of behaviour or wearing a mask. Get to know yourself better.
    • Meditate for clarity: Regular meditation can help quiet the mind and let you tap into a deeper sense of self-awareness. Find what works for you to connect with your true inner self.

    1. Follow Your Passions

    • Do what brings you joy: When you’re engaged in activities that make you feel alive, you’re tapping into your true self. Pay attention to what excites and motivates you and follow those interests with an open heart.
    • Take time for creative expression: Creativity is a great way to express your true self, whether through art, writing, music, or even just daydreaming. It allows you to break free from limitations and connect with your innermost desires.

  1. Seek Professional Guidance

    • Therapy or coaching: Sometimes, the support of a therapist or life coach can help you uncover who you really are, especially if past trauma or conditioning has obscured your self-awareness.

    1. Embrace Change and Growth

    • Allow yourself to evolve: Remember that self-discovery is an ongoing process. The person you are today may not be the person you are tomorrow. Embrace growth and do not be afraid to change as you uncover more about yourself. It will be liberating.

  1. Trust Yourself

    • Listen to your intuition: Your inner voice is a guide to who you really are. Trusting your gut feelings can lead you to make choices that are aligned with your authentic self.

Remember, the journey to uncover who you truly are is not a linear path, it is a path unique to you. It is likely to be full of exploration, twists and moments of self-doubt. But every step you take brings you closer to embracing the person you were always meant to be. Enjoy the journey, it is worth and so are you.

For individual counselling I am here for you. Contact me to book an initial session and I will support you.

If you are in crisis and want immediate support please call the Samaritans who offer a free 24 hour helpline – Phone: 116 123 – Website: www.samaritans.org

Created by your local counsellor in Fleet, Caroline at Caroline Ellison Counselling – this is my experience and these are my opinions . Carpe Diem.

How to stay focused with Adult ADHD

How to stay focused with adult ADHD

Staying focused with adult ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) can be challenging, but there are strategies and techniques that can help you manage your symptoms and improve your ability to concentrate. However, it is important to remember that what works for one person may not work for another, so you may need to experiment with different strategies to find what works best for you.

ADHD staying Focused Tips

Here are some tips to help you stay focused with adult ADHD:

  • Seek Professional Help: First and foremost, consider working with a healthcare professional, such as a psychiatrist or therapist, who specialises in ADHD. They can provide you with a proper diagnosis, treatment options (which may include medication) and guidance on managing your symptoms.

  • Medication: ADHD medications, such as stimulants or non-stimulants, can be highly effective in improving focus and concentration. Consult with a healthcare professional to determine if medication is a suitable option for you.

  • Create a Structured Routine: Establishing a daily routine can help you stay on track and minimize distractions. Set specific times for work, meals, exercise and relaxation and stick to this schedule as closely as possible.

  • Use Task Lists and Planners: Write down your tasks and prioritise them. Breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps can make them feel less overwhelming. Digital or physical planners, to-do lists and calendar apps can help you keep track of your responsibilities.

  • Eliminate Distractions: Identify common distractions in your environment and take steps to minimize them. This may include turning off notifications on your phone, using website blockers or creating a dedicated workspace that is free from distractions.

  • Time Management Techniques: Techniques like the Pomodoro Technique (working in short, focused bursts with breaks in between) or time blocking can be helpful in managing your time effectively.

  • Set Clear Goals: Define clear and achievable goals for your tasks. Knowing the purpose and expected outcome of a task can help you stay motivated and focused.

  • Stay Organized: Keep your physical and digital spaces organized. Use labels, folders, and color-coding to make it easier to find what you need and reduce clutter.

  • Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness meditation and deep breathing exercises can improve your ability to stay present and focused. Regular practice can also help manage stress, which can exacerbate ADHD symptoms.

  • Exercise and Diet: Regular physical activity and a balanced diet can have a positive impact on your overall well-being and focus. Aim for regular exercise and consider consulting a nutritionist for dietary guidance.

  • Sleep: Prioritise good sleep hygiene to ensure you are well rested. A consistent sleep schedule and a comfortable sleep environment can make a big difference in your ability to focus.

  • Seek Support: Share your challenges and goals with friends, family members or a support group. They can offer encouragement, accountability and understanding.

  • Learn About ADHD: Educate yourself about ADHD to better understand your condition. Knowledge about your symptoms and how they affect you can empower you to make informed choices and develop effective strategies.

Be Kind to yourself

Remember that managing adult ADHD is an ongoing process and it is okay to seek help and make changes as you need them. Be kind and patient with yourself and celebrate all your successes big and small. With the right techniques, strategies and support, you can improve your ability to stay focused with your adult ADHD mind.

Additional Support

There is a lot of support out there. In my opinion this podcast by Huberman is really interesting – ADHD & How Anyone Can Improve Their Focus | Huberman Lab Podcast #37

Other support:

For individual support I am here for you. Contact me to book an initial session and I will support you.

Written by your local counsellor in Fleet, Caroline at Caroline Ellison Counselling – this is my experience and these are my opinions. Carpe Diem.